When The Universe Conspires To Make Magic ... And You Don't Listen

Paulo Coelho - 'And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.'

That is such a comforting sentence.

The problem is, sometimes, you don't often realize when the universe is helping you out. The signs get ignored. In fact, sometimes it's ridiculously easy to ignore the signs. I am the sort who needs flashing billboard signs to sway me out of any decision I resolutely undertake. 

 

If I can't physically do something, any friend who knows me well enough, will vouch that my sheer determination will propel me to achieve it. With that depth of willpower in me, I need something dramatic to veer me off my designated, internal, GPS-determined course.

 

One ex used to comment in wonder, "I love how when I think something is impossible, you go and pull your magic and make it happen. It's crazy. How do you do it?" 

 

"Oh didn't you know?" I used to airily retort with a saucy wink, "Hi. My name is Lucy and I am somewhat, magical."

But sometimes my magic can take a detour to NoSpellVille because I overlook the obvious.

When you've made the wrong decision, uneasy feelings often intensify and the universe conspires to make you sit up and pay attention with little signs here and there, that can easily be put down to coincidence instead of synchronicity, which is what it really is (there's no such thing as coincidence, by the way). 

When you still refuse to listen, then the universe stops whispering and starts roaring. When that fails, you get a sledgehammer moment.

Yeah, you musical readers...I know you've got Peter Gabriel in your head right now ;-) I'm a step ahead of you. Here you go and hopefully my HTML embedding will apply to iPhone users, since I've removed the flashplayer instruction. (Fingers crossed!)

 

I had such a sledgehammer moment today. 

Allow me to elaborate. An opportunity arose that I've been dying to grasp with both hands and I was marveling at how it was all working out beautifully once I said the magic word 'yes'. Then a few other obstacles reared their heads, which made me feel that I should be more sensible, less carefree and subsequently made me renege on my initial decision.

Basically, I was putting everyone else first and taking a backseat on my dream and retreating into fallback girl mode by being the sensible one. My efforts at extinguishing my own fire came from a thoughtful and loyal place. Perhaps a bit too thoughtful and loyal, if truth be told. A few friends had gently and persistently been questioning my decision which, up till that point, I felt was the correct thing to do. 

I was still admiring from afar at how it was all working out beautifully for everyone else, offering me some comfort that at least other people would get to do their thing in peace.

While, I only had a few gentle prods from the persistent peers, it was enough to make me start to realize that it was a crying shame that I was voluntarily clipping my own wings. After that doubt started creeping in.

The Universe hadn't finished with me yet. Those were just the whispers.

During the course of today, a few things happened. First, early in the morning, I received a phone call from a 'higher-up' enquiring further about my plans. I had none. She said it was good of me, but nevertheless, a shame too, and seemed surprisingly concerned and sympathetic. I put the phone down and thought, How odd. That was practically a green light. For the first time, some real uncertainty crept in. (I ignored it).

However, in this tragi-comedy we call life, there was more to the plot. In every good story, there is an obstacle that needs to be overcome and a lesson to be learnt.

While I'm at it, here's the next tune to set the mood: Red light - Eddie Murphy and Snoop.

 

(When you've known Snoop for as long as I have, he can change his name to Daffodil for all he bloody likes and he's still 'Snoop' to me).

 





Back to the story: during the course of the day, I realized certain other people's plans were failing because I had removed myself from the process.

 

That didn't sit well with this particular Florence Nightingale.

I didn't quite ignore this specific sign.

 

I ummed and erred about tackling two of the obstacles in question face-to-face and asking them for help. Then I got exasperated with my own umming and erring by lunchtime and went off to the psisteria.

Walking back, armed with my fasolakia, I inwardly sighed thinking if it was meant to be I'll know about it somehow, so I'll stop worrying about the problem at hand since I can't make head or tail about what is the right thing to do. That was at 1.11pm. Portentous, no?

Enter the Universe at precisely 4.56pm when I went to make a cup of tea. For several reasons:

 

1. I was putting other people first instead of myself.
2. I thought it was for a good purpose.
3. I wasn't being true to myself and what I desired.

 

As per some very wise words I've read over and again, which I fail to heed over and over again:

"The highest choice is that which produces the highest good for you ... When the absolute highest choice is made ... the highest good for you becomes the highest good for another."

(Conversations With God, Book One, pgs. 130-1)

The sledgehammer moment occurred when a more pushy friend cornered me and asked what my plans were. I said nada and explained why. She went into Super Organized Mode (she's Bridezilla at the moment, so hurdling over problems is second nature to any bride organizing her own Big Fat Cyppie Wedding) and fired out unasked-for advice.

 

She clarified that one of the two obstacles had been removed in recent days - unbeknownst to me -and therefore I was shooting myself in the foot by thinking of everyone else, since it absolutely wasn't necessary. It was perfectly fair for everyone involved to make the most of it.

I did, admittedly, get a bit huffy that I hadn't been told about said obstacle removal much earlier. But my huffiness was probably due to my heavyweight, Florence Nightingale halo falling off and shattering soundlessly in the kitchen, around my ankles, as I was drinking my stevia infused Lipton Yellow Label. I might have an identity crisis without it, you know. No wonder I got huffy. 

 

I told her I'll think about it and most likely change my mind when I calm down as I pretty much want to tell everyone a big 'fuck you' at the moment. She agreed that right now it probably wasn't the best attitude to go with.

I went outside to have a rant on the phone to another colleague and noticed the warm weather. Once upstairs, I snapped a pic of the weather forecast. The time was 5.40pm. By then, my head was somewhat clear, especially after the office mathematical genius asked me where Puerto Rico was geographically and where the Caribbean was exactly. That generated some laughs.

 

The upshot is I get to do what I wanted to do in the first place, with no fear. The other colleagues whose plans were going awry magically all became glued together, even better than before.

 

The lesson was the same one that crops up; admittedly less so these days, but it's been awhile since I had to apply it in the workplace. The obstacles that prevented me from participating? Magically removed by the Universe, conspiring to work with me and everyone else. Thank you Universe.   

 

The reference to the numbers are important. Those in the know will know. The rest can Google it. It would be untoward of me to give everything away. That's not part of the magic ;-) 

 

The office mathematical genius remarked a few days ago that when he first met me, while he instantly realized I didn't take things lightly, he felt I took some things lightly. Now he's realized that I take absolutely nothing lightly.

 

He's absolutely right: I don't. I see hidden meaning in absolutely everything. But if I took everything lightly, there wouldn't be these intriguing blog posts, either.

And the final song of this post: